Don't let me go

15 years ago I sat in yet another clinic wondering if I’d ever be a mother. God had placed a desire to parent and nurture deep within me, yet my journey toward parenthood was paved with nearly 10 years of painful loss and struggle. I spent some of those years begging God for a miracle, more years asking God why I had been given this lot of pain, and still more years wrestling with disappointment in my heavenly Father who I knew was perfectly capable of changing everything in a moment.

Somewhere along the way I began to often pray, “God, just don’t let me let go of You. Your word says you are good, so no matter what happens or what I feel, anchor me in You.” I’m not sure what prompted this prayer, perhaps it was rooted in my parent’s motto, ‘If you don’t quit, you win’, but I am confident that this prayer led to a determined faith and hope far beyond my own human capability. Psalm 27:13-1(AMP) says, “I would have despaired had I not believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord In the land of the living. Wait for and confidently expect the Lord; Be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for and confidently expect the Lord.” From that season to now, the words of this scripture remain a pillar in my life.

I am so thankful God eventually blessed us with children, but my most precious treasure from those years is learning that God Himself is the goodness I can confidently expect. No matter what pain or joy a season holds I can expect Him here in this wild land of the living and where He is there is always hope. Dear church, I pray that no matter what season you find yourself in this Mother’s day, that you would be anchored into the truth that God is good and you can confidently expect Him present and working right where you are. Be strong and have courage. In Him we always have hope.